


Two More Than he Bargained For

by Gage



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, First Kiss, Found Family, Gen, Getting Together, Implied Bullying, M/M, OC kid - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23396689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gage/pseuds/Gage
Summary: Eddie tilted his head, biting his lip, trying his best not to laugh. “And that didn’t raise any red flags?” It was cute how Buck went from confused to betrayed in less than five seconds. His kids really were something else.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 106





	1. First Wave

**Author's Note:**

> First off I wanna thank JEN because if it wasn't for her hearing my cries, and pushing me to ask for help I would have seriously deleted this entire thing. To my beta's (Taxing Ninja) and (ToughpaperRound). These two amazing people have pushed me out of my comfort zone and talked me through putting this mess together. Also, a huge thanks to KBB, for the information on HOH. Seriously I would have been lost using the wrong info on that rabbit hole. 
> 
> This has been a personal project of mine in the works for the longest time. This was written way before 'Eddie Begins' aired so most of the timeline and information came before. The italics used here cover Eddie and Jessie's use of signing in [PSE](http://www.nchearingloss.org/pse.htm). 
> 
> Because the tags seem to disappear here are some warning: 
> 
> Angst/Hurt Comfort is heavy here but it does have a happy ending. There is references to the following: Abandonment, Ableism, Bullying, HOH Child, Panic Attacks. 
> 
> If you think I missed any tags please let me know.

* * *

“I think your kid hates me…” Buck whispered to Eddie out of the blue. They’re in the locker room half-changed, so they could settle down for their first shift of the day. Eddie didn’t even stop to think that Buck might not be exactly wrong. Well, slightly wrong. Ok, he might be right but Eddie didn’t want to be the one to pop that bubble. He sighed heavily. 

Eddie’s kids, Jessica and Christopher Diaz were his whole world. For the past three years, it had just been them and his extended family. The move to LA two years ago was a tough one, especially at the start. He loved his family, but he and the kids needed a change, and with the move came a lot of setting things up, adjusting to a new house, a new city, doctors, therapists, audiologists, schools, etc. Jessie, who turned eleven this year and was every bit as stubborn as her father, didn’t take too well to the change. Christopher was seven years old, and he took it a little better, but not by much. He was sad about the move but at least he was trying. Honestly, Eddie felt that Chris was just following his big sister's mood the way he’d always done. Eddie didn’t regret bringing them out here and away from his parents but sometimes he wondered if it would have been better if they had stayed in El Paso. Which is stupid because if he had, he wouldn’t have what he had now, in the 118. These people were the closest thing to ‘found family’ he’s had since his tours with his squad in Afghanistan. And since the earthquake a month ago, Buck had been a strong presence in his life, in his kids' lives. While Christopher had been really receptive to Buck, Jessie wasn’t exactly friendly. As much as Eddie and Christopher loved having him around, his daughter had been a little resistant. He couldn’t exactly blame her either. 

Eddie sighed heavily before he turned to Buck. He tried hard not to feel like a liar as he spoke up. “She doesn’t hate you,”

Buck turned towards him, his brows raised in slight disbelief. “Dude, she gave me the evil eye last night.”

Eddie tried so hard not to laugh, he really did. “You took the last Reganado, of course, she did.” Nothing was more wrong than taking the last cookie in the Diaz household. Especially Abuela’s famous Reganados; those were sacred.

“Christopher said it was ok,” Buck frowned like he was trying to figure something out.

Eddie tilted his head, biting his lip, trying his best not to laugh. “And that didn’t raise any red flags?” It was cute how Buck went from confused to betrayed in less than five seconds. His kids really were something else.

“He set me up!”

This time Eddie didn’t bother holding in his laugh, never mind that it drew the attention of Hen and Chimney.

~*~ 

A few days later, Eddie walked into his home just after his shift. He’d chosen today to have his talk with Jessie, knowing neither of his kids had any appointments or after-school programs. By now they would have finished their homework and been lazing about. Carla Price had been a godsend when he couldn’t pick them up from school on Thursday, she’d volunteered. It wasn’t something she’d signed up for but she knew how much help he needed. He’s so glad that Buck had introduced them, she really lifted a load off his shoulders with all the help she had been able to give them. Three times a week she was there to help out with the kids’ appointments. If it hadn’t been for her, he’d still be stuck trying to get them what they needed.

When he walked in that afternoon he found her talking Christopher through some last-minute things in the living room. He had a few minutes, so he went off to find his oldest.

Jessie was in the bedroom on the floor, legs sticking out from under the bottom bunk bed. He knelt, grabbed the left leg, and pulled, laughed as she emerged, loose strands of hair stuck out from her messy braids. She looked straight up at him with a frown on her face. “ _What are you doing_?” Eddie moved his hands, signing to her as he spoke. He couldn’t keep the laugh from escaping. 

“ _Making sure it’s_ _Monster_ _proof,_ ” Jessie spoke, signing out the words perfectly, as though he should have already known this.

“ _Did you tell your brother there are monsters under here again_?” He needed her to stop doing that; the last monster story had Christopher wanting to sleep in Eddie’s room for a week.

“No… _he said there was so_ _I made it so_ _there wasn’t_.” Jessie protested. 

Eddie was pretty sure his eyebrows would be past his hairline by now with these two. He laid himself flat on the floor and looked under, nearly getting blinded when bright lights flooded the dark space. “JESS.”

“Sorry Papi, but at least I know it works.” Jessie mused playfully. 

He could practically feel the smug tone coming off of her. Eddie tried blinking away the spots in his eyes. “Those lights are for emergencies only J,” he tried rubbing his eyes but that just made him see stars.

_“_ This was _.”_

The unsaid ‘duh’ was hard to miss, what with the way it practically dripped from her words. She was his kid all right. When the stars had faded from his eyes and he could finally see again, he remembered what he came here for. “ _Do me a favor_ , _no more_ _Cuco stories_ ,”

“But _he likes those, how am I_ supposed to _turn him down when he asks_ for…” she stops when his eyes narrowed down on her. “ _Fine_ , _I’ll stick to the_ _baby stories_ then.”

He hid the laugh that threatened to spill out of him and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “ _I mean it, J_ ,”

“ _Okay_ ,”

“ _One more_ thing…” he waited till she looked him in the eyes. “ _I need you to_ _ease off_ on Buck.”

Eddie watched her carefully, noting how her eyes dimmed slightly, how her smile faded, and how she avoided his eyes. He reached out for her chin and gently lifted her face so that he’s in her line of sight. “Jessica,” he sighed. He knew that she’d been kind of off lately but he figured if he gave her enough time and space she’d cool off a little. Now it turned out that that may not have been the best idea. She’d always been different from her brother. While Chris was open and honest with his feelings, Jessie always had a stone wall up. He hoped that with distance from their family he could get her to open up more. Be a little less like him and more like…

“ _Why_?” Jessie whispered softly, her sign was a little shaky.

Eddie blinked at the response. “ _He’s_ _a good friend_ … do _you not like him_?” He waited, and didn't push any further than that. Jessie shrugged, her messy braids falling down around her shoulders.

“ _He’s_ … _ok_ .”

It’s the pause, that slight moment where she hesitated, that made Eddie’s heart drop, that pushed him to ask the question he always did when she or Chris was hesitant around other people. “Jess. Does _he make you feel unsafe_?”

She turns her head up so fast that Eddie was worried she might break something, brown eyes widening when she exclaims, “ _No_ way, _he’s a total goofball_.”

Eddie sighed, something loosened in his chest as he took in her words. Still. “ _Then what’s the problem_?”

_“Nothing.”_

Like he said, stone wall.

“Jessie…”

“ _Dad_ , _he_ _took the last cookie_ , _I had to_ _retaliate_ …” She sounded so indignant that it didn’t register for a few seconds what she said.

When it did, Eddie hung his head in resignation. “Wha… _What_ _did_ _you_ _do_?”

Jessie bit her lip, gaze moving back to the floor, signing a little slower here. “ _Nothing... permanent_.”

Oh god. Eddie knew his kids were no saints, but for a while, he forgot that when it came to getting back at people, they could be a little…

~*~

“Still think she doesn’t hate me?” 

They’re at the station two days later for their morning shift. Buck had walked up into the loft area, plopped into the empty seat beside Eddie at the table **.** Eddie’s eyes widened as he did a double-take at the sight of his friend, Chimney practically choked on his coffee. Hen’s eyes widened in shock before she started laughing. Eddie winced as he looked at the green streaks in Buck's hair, how did Jessie even do this without anyone noticing?!

“I feel like she gets this from you.” Buck tilted his head, eyes narrowed down at Eddie. He didn’t even sound mad, he was more amused. 

“I’m so sorry man,” Eddie said as he reached out and poked at one of the green streaks in Buck’s hair. It didn’t feel tacky which meant Jessie had used some type of dye and not those chalky color sticks her Tia Cienna gave her last month. 

“It’s fine, just kids being kids right.” Buck shrugged it off like his daughter didn’t just streak his hair on the sly.

~*~

After his shift, Eddie, along with Buck went to pick up the kids at Abuela Isa’s house, and she got a good laugh out of Buck's new hairstyle. Jessie took a little time to apologize.

~*~

It was a frustrating Friday. Call after call with not enough time in between to bounce back and settle down. Abuela had an appointment and Tia was still at work so there was no one to pick up the kids from school. Eddie was afraid to ask Buck for any favors, especially after the whole green hair dye incident, and the tripwire… the less said about that the better. Realistically Buck was the only one not working the extra shift. Buck agreed immediately as usual as if he didn’t still have a bit of green stuck in his hair - said it was no problem. Eddie prayed that his kids didn’t scare him off, specifically, Jess.

When he got home it was not exactly quiet, but it wasn’t loud either. Eddie didn’t know what had happened for Jessie to ease up but when he got home, the scene he walked in on warmed his heart. All three were in the middle of the living room, playing a board game, each cracking up at something that was said. He didn’t question why they all had green streaks in their hair. They seemed happy enough. That’s all that mattered to him. 

~*~

  
  


Months later, things were going so well, he should have seen it coming. When Shannon Diaz crashed back into their lives, it was a disaster, to say the least. The only one who was happy to see her was Christopher, and really that said it all. Shannon left a lot behind when she moved to LA, broke his kids' hearts as well as his own, and he had no idea how to even start to trust her with them again.

Shannon had wanted back into the kids’ lives and Eddie was reluctant as hell. Especially since they had a good routine going. The kids were loved and well cared for; they had adults in their lives they could trust to be there when they needed them. Eddie couldn’t be sure that he could say the same for Shannon.

So when she asked if she could pick both kids up from school, Eddie was filled with so much reluctance and anxiety he had trouble sleeping. So much so that he was caught zoning out at work. It was Buck who noticed first and asked what was up, and that was all it took for everything to come spilling out. Buck was good like that, he had been the one constant, aside from the others in his life. If he had a bad day, Buck was right there to pick him up. After their conversation, Eddie felt a little better, so one phone call later and it was all set. Shannon was going to pick up the kids from their schools. All she had to do was get them through the afternoon and drop them off at Abuela’s house that night. 

  
  


When Eddie got off his shift that night, on the day Shannon chose to pick the kids up from school, it was an earful from Abuela Isa. Eddie knew most of his family hated Shannon and had no qualms about showing it. Abuela was the only one who didn't bad mouth her in front of the kids. No, she saved that for when they were out of hearing range. 

“Please tell me you didn't say anything to her?” Eddie also knew that part of the reason Shannon had a hard time while he was overseas was his family constantly second-guessing her when it came to the kids.

“Que, I was polite…” his Abuela shrugged and she said it in such a way that he knew she tried, but her definition of trying and his differed wildly. He sighed, shaking his head, and turned to leave when Abuela grabbed his arm, holding out a familiar purple BTE device. What the hell? Eddie frowned as he took Jessie’s hearing aid from her hand.

“Ella lo quito, no queria usarlo con Shannon.” 

Damn it. 

~*~

Eddie waited till they got home, and Christopher was settled in the bottom bunk in the kids’ room before he went searching for his oldest child. He found her playing on the Xbox which Buck had left a few weeks ago. Eddie reached down and hit the ‘Pause’ button.

“Daaaaad,” Her voice was a little louder than usual, which told him how long she’d been without her hearing-aid. Her voice tended to be a little louder, the longer she went without it.

“ _Lara Croft can wait, we need to talk, NOW.”_ He planted himself on the coffee table, which blocked her view of the TV. As he held up the hearing aid, Eddie watched his daughter’s face move through a series of expressions in a matter of seconds. Her head tilted to the side, eyes narrowed down, filled with half-curiosity, half-suspicion, before they widened in sudden panic when she recognized the device in his hand. Last but not least, the old ‘stonewall’, all expressions wiped from her face. Jessie turned her face to the left, away from him. He noticed her ear and felt rage for a moment before immediately pushed it down. Some redness remained on Jessie’s ear where the mold of her hearing aid usually went as if someone had yanked it off roughly. Eddie reached out, fingers tenderly skimmed the top of his daughter’s right ear. He should have gotten a call from the school if something had happened. Or Shannon would’ve called, but she obviously hadn’t.

Jessie took the aid from his hand and turned it over a few times in her hands. It was clean, a slight scuff mark at the edge from where it had been thrown on the ground. “ **Buck** was supposed to pick us up... not her,” Jessie grits out. 

Eddie felt his heart drop, he thought that the olive branch he had offered Shannon would be okay; that it would give her time with Jess and Chris.

“ _She forgot I was allergic to strawberries_ … Buck never forgets.” Jessie’s voice got a little louder as she said this, her signing rougher. 

Eddie could feel the anger in him rising up, at the thought of not being informed about any of this. 

“ _I tried to tell her but she didn't listen_ ,” Jessie's fingers curled into a fist around the purple device. “She kept saying I could try… _Chris told her_ , _she didn't listen_.”

“ _So you took your ears off_.” Eddie nodded. He had no trouble picturing it in his head, as he knew how angry Jessie got, how much she hated it when someone talked down to her. Eddie reached out, uncurled her fingers from the device, and fit it gently back around her ear. He turned it back on and watched the light flash green before pressing a kiss to her temple. “I’m _so sorry, J_. _That wasn't_ _supposed to happen_.”

“ _Why didn't_ ** _Buck_** _come to pick us up?_ ” Jessie pressed on. 

And there it was - Fridays were ‘Buck’ days. So when Shannon had asked to pick the kids up on Friday, Eddie sent a text to Buck, asked him if that was okay. Buck did sound disappointed but he understood. It just never occurred to him that he wasn’t the _only_ one who would miss ‘Buck Day’.

“Your _mom wanted to spend time with you guys, and_ I _talked to Buck_ , _and he agreed to that,_ ” Eddie tried to explain only to be shut off by his indignant daughter. 

“ _She’s not_ _my mom_.”

Eddie’s head snapped up so fast you would have heard it crack. “Jess…”

“ _She’s not my mom._ ” Jessie shot up out of the chair and speed-walked down the front hall.

“Jess, stop!” Eddie called out, right before banging his knee into the old end table. A string of curse words left his lips, probably fifty dollars-worth in the ‘swear jar’. His heart sank as he heard the front door slam. “JESS!” Just like that, she’s gone, and Eddie nearly lost it. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the first number. 

It was the longest ten minutes of his life. He was standing out on the front porch waiting. He clutched his phone in his hand as the headlights of his Abuela’s car illuminated the driveway. Before he could thank her, she was already out of her vehicle, urging him out of the driveway and down the road. She told him to be careful.

He started out on foot, thinking she couldn’t have made it that far, but then he remembered a conversation he had had with Buck, the Friday before. 

**_“She’s like The Flash, Eddie. I told her she should try out for the soccer team.”_ **

Buck had sounded so proud of her. Eddie doubled back to his truck, started the engine, and headed out. It had been almost an hour and he could feel his heart pounding away in his chest. His baby girl was out here somewhere alone and angry and all he could think of were the worst-case scenarios. They started pouring into his head. What if she’d fallen and had gotten hurt? What if she couldn’t find her way home? What if someone came across her and- His thoughts were so loud he almost didn’t hear the phone ringing. Eddie reached over to the passenger seat where he’d thrown the phone earlier and hit the answer button. He didn't realize he’d been crying till he tried to talk.

“Eddie?”

It took a second to place that comforting voice. “Buck now's not… not a good time.” Eddie’s voice cracked as he tried to regain control of his breathing. 

“I’m aware,” Buck replied evenly.

“You are?” Eddie’s still trying to work through the fog of fear that had invaded his head and heart. It left him more than a little confused.

“I think I’ve got something that belongs to you.”

“What… ?” Eddie couldn’t really think of anything important that he’d left behind at Buck’s place. 

“Make that someone.”

Eddie heard shuffling as Buck moved about his apartment. Eddie pulled the truck over to the curb before he panicked and caused a crash. His first thought was ‘thank god’ followed by ‘I’m gonna kill her.’ The guilt that followed was so overwhelming that it covered up the relief he was feeling. “She’s with you.”

“Yeah, she showed up twenty minutes ago. Had a bit of a scare, but she’s fine.” Buck’s voice was so calm and steady, the complete opposite of what Eddie was feeling. 

“WHAT?”

“Eddie, the important thing is that she’s fine.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

Eddie tried so hard not to be angry, he did. This wasn't the first time Jessie had run away from home when she got angry or upset. At least this time she took her ears with her. Goddammit. This was his fault for thinking things would be okay. He should have known better _._ Eddie pulled up to Buck’s place minutes later and raced up the stairs two at a time. The keys were in his shaky hands, as he opened the door and saw Buck’s expansive back facing the entrance, leaning against the wall, arms crossed - keeping watch over Jessie… Jessie who was sitting at the counter.

He was gonna kill her for putting him through this. Buck must’ve sensed his movement because the next thing he knew, the other man was in front of him. Firm hands on his shoulder and behind his neck soothed him as he heard Buck’s calm voice whisper for him to breathe. Eddie’s body shook involuntarily, as he struggled with both his anger and his need to make sure Jessie was really okay. Suddenly, he found himself drawn into a warm embrace, face buried in the space between Buck’s shoulder and neck. It calmed some of the storm that swirled inside of him. Eventually, Eddie managed to take a deep breath before stepping away, wiping his face on his sleeves.

“You good?” Buck’s voice was so full of concern. 

Eddie nodded, taking another breath to calm his racing heart. He’d never wanted any of his kids to see him like that. On some level, Buck knew exactly what he needed, what his kids needed, and for that Eddie was eternally grateful.

“She showed up upset and a little scared, but calmed down after I gave her something hot to drink.”

Eddie’s eyes narrowed down a bit.

“Nothing big, but she did lose her ‘ear’. It must’ve gotten loose and fell out when she ran here.”

Thank god that’s all that happened. Eddie nodded and moved to go into the apartment but Buck’s hand on his arm stopped him. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to start.

“What?”

His teeth sunk into his bottom lip for a few seconds before he said anything. “She was really upset about Shannon.” 

It didn’t surprise him that Jessie would open up to Buck. This place should have been his first guess, but he’d been so frantic about losing his baby girl that he hadn’t been thinking clearly. “She told you- ”

“Yeah.” Buck’s entire demeanor changed. He suddenly stood up straighter, body tense. It made something sour sit in his gut, to think that Buck still wasn’t sure about his place in their lives, that he felt that he had to take a defensive stance. “Eddie, I know it’s not my place to say, I know she’s their mom and even letting her back into their lives was a huge step. Not taking away from that- ”

“But?”

“I don’t think Jess was upset with Shannon as much as she was upset about...”

“I know man, I’m just… I couldn’t say no.” Eddie ran his fingers through his hair. He's so exhausted now that everything was catching up to him. He’d thought about this earlier when he spoke with Jess but having Buck confirm it now just made the fact that he had messed up again, hurt more. 

“I get that,” Buck sighed and stepped back into the apartment.

Eddie walked into Buck’s place, his eyes on his daughter who was fast asleep, head resting on her folded arms on the kitchen counter. His heart nearly broke when he saw her tear-streaked face. Jessie woke with a start as Eddie placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Confusion and fear flashed momentarily across her face before she realized it’s him. Eddie hated seeing his girl like this. He pulled her into his arms, and just like that, all the tension in her body released and she started crying.

~*~

Later when they were back home, Abuela was asleep in the spare room. Jessie asked if she could sleep in his room. Eddie didn’t hesitate and just told her to get her pajamas on. He knew she was probably too old for it but he wasn’t going to lie, the fear of potentially losing her tonight was still ingrained in every fiber of his being. As they settled down for the night, things looked like they were going to be okay. He was nearly asleep when he felt her shift. Jessie’s voice was barely a whisper in the dark. “Papi, is Buck gonna leave us now that she’s back?”

“What? No.” Eddie was taken aback and nearly jostled Jessie from where she laid by his side. “Why would… That's why you were upset?” He felt Jessie shrug, uncertain. That confirmed what he and Buck thought earlier. “Mijita, Buck isn’t going anywhere. No matter who comes into our lives.”

“Promise?” Her voice came out so small. Eddie pulled her into his side, he hugged her tight and pressed a kiss to her hair.

_“I promise.”_

She’s grounded for scaring the crap out of him.

~*~

The next day Eddie made an appointment with Jessie’s audiologist, for a new hearing aid fitting. The last one was probably getting a little small, which he guessed could be the reason why she had been taking it off more lately. Eddie wished she hadn’t lost it though. The hearing aid was due for replacing in another couple of months anyway, but the things were costly and a bitch to replace. He asked Buck over, and they made it a day, just the four of them. Anything to get a smile back on their faces. A day at the park turned into a game of soccer, with Christopher on his back vs Jessie and Buck. Buck had been right before, she really was fast. He stayed for dinner, helping out with cooking, and getting the kids together to set the table. Eddie couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt such warmth bloom inside of him. He was grateful for his best friend, so he was not really surprised when it got late and Christopher asked him to spend the night. Even Jessie pulled out those puppy eyes.

Yeah, Buck never stood a chance.

That gave Buck Sunday morning with them, which meant waffles for breakfast. Eddie set a few ground rules for them before he pulled Buck aside to thank him for everything he had done. His heart fluttered a little when Buck just shook his head, and told him, “I’d do anything for you and those kids man, you know that.” Eddie smiled and left before he did anything stupid, like kissing him.

Sunday afternoon was spent meeting with Shannon at a cafe to talk about the kids. It was not a pleasant conversation and she put up a hell of a fight when he said Fridays weren’t up for debate as they were ‘ **Buck Days** ’. Eddie explained that Chris and Jess both have separate after-school programs, along with scheduled appointments during the week that Carla or Tia Pepa took them to, which led to an argument about Shannon wanting to go with them. That wasn’t going to happen, he had to put his foot down on that. Eddie didn’t want their routines to be messed up. Christopher might not show it as much as Jessie but he was just as affected by what happened with his sister. That kid would follow her lead, and he needed her in on this as much as Shannon needed to stop asking for what he couldn’t give.

So they settled on Thursday afternoons, if and only if both kids agreed.

That was a fight too.

~*~

It took longer than he’d like for things to get readjusted and it didn’t help that Shannon kept pushing for more time. While he got it (he really did), there was no way he could relent. It was hard enough to get time with his kids, let alone spreading their schedules so thin. The holidays made things both a little better and a little worse. Eddie just wanted time with his family and not to have it turn into one big blow out. 

It started with a phone call from the school, just after Thanksgiving. There had been an ‘altercation’. It took all his strength to keep the worst-case scenarios from playing out in his head. It was Shannon’s day to pick the kids up, and he was getting really tired of learning about these things in this screwed-up, second-hand manner. Eddie tried to tell himself on the drive home not to blow his top. The meeting with Jessie’s teacher and the principal and the other kids’ parents was enough to give him half the story. There was no amount of apologizing towards the other parents that could erase what Jessie had done.

“Este nena me va a….” Eddie hit the steering wheel and tried to calm himself. “I can’t believe she- ” He heard his cell phone go off, with Buck’s ringtone. Eddie reached over and hit the answer button. “Please tell me she didn’t run again.” Eddie was a little more than irritated at this point, but no one could really blame him. 

“No…” That came out like he was asking a question. 

“Buck,” Eddie warned, he gripped the steering wheel tight as he made a turn down his own street.

“Look, Christopher called me upset and apparently I made the mistake of going to **your** house.” Eddie flinched at the defeated tone in Buck’s voice.

He didn’t know what was worse - the meeting at the school or the feeling akin to a grenade in his gut now. It had become a point of contention between him and Shannon, the fact that no matter what she did, Buck did it better (according to the kids, anyway). He’s lost count of how many times she’d brought it up and he was not proud of the way he sidestepped most of those arguments.

“What happened?”

“What didn’t happen?” Buck’s voice was low like he was trying hard not to lose it.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

~*~

The first thing he heard when he walked into his house was the TV, the volume was set low, and the scratching of a pencil on paper. Christopher was sitting on the sofa doing what looked like homework, which should have been completed already. He leaned over pressing a kiss to his boy’s head, “Christopher.” Christopher offered a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes, and Eddie ran his fingers through those soft curls. “Rough day, kid?”

“Rough day,” Christopher replied with a nod, then looked down the hall to the kitchen. “Buck tried to help.”

Eddie tried not to let what he was feeling show on his face, “How about you finish up here and then you can watch something on your tablet, ok?”

“Okay,” Christopher reached out and Eddie couldn’t help but hold on to his kid for a bit. He was gonna need the strength and a reminder of what he was fighting for. When he made it down the hall to the kitchen, part of it looked like a bomb had gone off in it. Shannon was spraying down the counter, Buck was nowhere to be seen.

“What the _hell_ happened here?”

Shannon slammed the cleaner onto the counter. “Your **daughter** happened.”

Eddie knew Jessie had inherited his temper but this wasn’t like her at all. “Start from the beginning?”

Shannon told him, she thought she could handle what happened at the school by herself as if it wasn’t the first time she’d tried this. When they got home she tried to get Jessie to tell her what happened with the other boy that resulted in her breaking his nose just before school let out.

“She completely shut me out, Eddie.”

That didn’t surprise Eddie at all. “You tried to push her into telling you what happened?”

Shannon threw the rag into the sink before crossing her arms. “I tried to get her to talk to me.”

“You **_pushed_** **,** and she blew up at you.” He scratched his head trying to figure out a way to diffuse this situation but he couldn’t see it.

“I tried to reason with her, you didn’t see what she _did_.”

“I didn’t- Where the hell do you think I just came from?” He didn’t mean to raise his voice but he didn’t like where this was going. Shannon just continued to rant as if he hadn’t said anything at all. 

“This isn’t the first fight she’s gotten into.”

Eddie knew that all too well, but none of the other altercations had resulted in broken bones.

“I’ve tried Eddie, I really have- ”

Eddie could practically feel his heart stutter, making his chest tighten up. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Shannon leaned against the cleanest part of the wall. “I can’t even get her to talk to me, and I think she's picking that up from you.”

Brows raised in disbelief at what he heard coming from her mouth, Eddie had to hold on to the cabinet behind him. “Are you seriously trying to say that it’s my fault she won’t open up to you?” He had to refrain from saying something stupid. 

“Well, it doesn’t help that she called Buck- ”

Eddie’s head snapped up so fast he was surprised it didn’t crack. “ **_Don’t!_** ” He would be damned if he would let her attack Buck for just being himself, and coming when one of Eddie's kids asked. “He’s not the problem here.”

“And I am?”

“I didn’t say that.” Eddie was almost at the end of his rope with this conversation. He was visibly exhausted and Shannon wasn’t helping by pointing fingers at others.

“Look, Eddie, I am trying really hard here but she is not making it easier.”

“You… you think this is supposed to be easy?” A sharp laugh escaped his mouth before he could keep it in. He was up in a flash moving across the room. “Jessie’s eleven years old, **both** her mothers walked out, and you think you can just waltz back in here like you didn’t just **abandon** her and expect- ”

Shannon’s entire body stiffened up, “I am not the only one who **LEFT.”**

Eddie felt his heart drop and it took everything inside of him not to hurl back painful accusations. That wouldn’t solve anything today, not when they were both feeling so raw. “You need to go.”

“Wait- Eddie, please!”

“I can’t do this right now.” His insides felt like they were going to crack and he didn’t want to hurt her.

“I didn’t mean- ” Shannon reached out towards him but he didn’t want to hear it. Not anymore. This was already a rough day that was turning into a shit evening. 

Eddie didn’t wait for her to leave, he just turned around and walked down the hall to the room where his kids slept. He knocked lightly on the door before opening it up, on the bottom bunk sat two of his favorite people in the world, and he could see that both of them were hurting in different ways.

Eddie could see Jessie’s back tense up, whatever it was that Buck told her made her relax before she turned his way, and Eddie wanted to hurt someone, or break something. His baby girl had a split lip, and her cheek was black and blue. He came around the bed and knelt in front of her, reaching out to cup her bruised cheek. Jessie was trying so hard to keep it together, he could see it in the way she tried not to stiffen up again. Her gaze was on the floor behind him. When did she become so guarded around him? All Eddie could do was pull her into his arms, standing as he held her. He took comfort in how she relaxed.

He was aware of Buck getting up from the bed and moving towards the door. Eddie reached out, wrapped his fingers around his wrist, gave him a gentle squeeze. He couldn’t help that flutter in his heart as he looked into those ocean blue eyes. Deep down, he knew that he wouldn’t have moments like this with Jess if it wasn’t for him. She’d come so far and yet since Shannon came back into their lives, it felt like it was a two-steps-forward-five-steps-back kind of thing.

_‘Thank you’_ was all he could sign to Buck, who shrugged his shoulders as if to dismiss all that he's done today. Eddie could not let him just dismiss it though. Things would have been a lot worse if he hadn’t come over, Eddie was sure of it. He tried to convey his feelings, sliding his hand down till their fingers were interlocking. Eddie didn’t take his eyes off him until he was sure Buck got what he was trying to communicate. Buck nodded his understanding and Eddie couldn’t deny the warmth as his cheeks flushed and something stirred within him. It was the briefest of moments for them but he hoped they could have more of those. For now, he would settle for this.

Buck’s voice was quiet but warm, “I’m gonna check on Christopher.” Eddie nodded and reluctantly let go of Buck’s hand and brought his arm back around Jessie, who looked up from his shoulder. She was watching Buck with tear-filled eyes as Buck leaned towards them, and pressed a soft kiss to Jessie’s uninjured cheek. “You got this, Jessie Quick.”

It was whispered into her left ear, but Eddie heard it loud and clear in the room. Buck smiled at him, it was no longer dim but bright as he walked out and down the hall. Eddie took a deep breath before looking at his kid and pressed his forehead against hers.

_“You and me time kid,”_

_“Okay, Papi.”_

~*~

Bedtime came around for both kids sooner than Eddie liked. Dinner was a little lighter with Buck around, and he was eternally grateful. Christopher told them about something that happened in his Science class, Jessie was a little quieter than normal but she kept up with Chris. She helped with the dishes and had a little less distance about her.

Later, when both kids were in bed, Eddie had a moment where he could breathe and rewind slightly. Jessie’s confession still swam around in his head, as he stood there in the kitchen he couldn’t believe that a school with zero tolerance would let it get this far. “She was defending her brother.” He felt like an idiot, he knew deep down that she wouldn’t have fought for anything else. Eddie slapped his hands against the table.

“Yeah.”

He looked up towards Buck who was leaning against the now spotless counter space. “Christopher actually tried to tell her, and Shannon shut them both down. I don’t think she meant to, but she did.”

Eddie could see how it had probably happened - how tempers flaring could easily lead to food bowls flying. Jessie’s struggle had been going on a lot longer than any of the adults around her knew. She had tried to tell her teacher, and when that failed, she tried to tell Shannon but to no avail. It finally all came to a head today.

“Hey, no,” Buck came around the table, “Don’t do that to yourself.” Somehow, Buck seemed to know where Eddie’s thoughts were going.

Eddie could still hear Jessie’s trembling voice, recounting how the older kid had told her that if there was a real Santa Claus, she and Chris wouldn’t be defective, and their Mom would have stuck around. That kid was lucky all he got was a broken nose. “She couldn’t even come to me before this and tell me.” his voice cracked a bit.

“Eddie.”

“My baby girl was in trouble and she didn’t even…God this is so messed up,” Eddie said as he shook his head in disbelief, eyes stung with tears. “I’m supposed to be there for her.”

“You are,” Buck was insistent but he couldn’t help but think of all the things that had gone on so far. “Eddie, man, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but those kids are crazy about you.” Buck stood by his side, a wall of warmth. “I’ll admit things are a little rough right now, but that’s just a drop in the ocean. They’re gonna get through this.” He leaned in whispering like it's a secret. “You know why?” 

Eddie shook his head. 

“Cause they have the world’s most awesome dad.” Buck’s smile was enough to stir something inside of him. 

“Yeah… I don’t feel so awesome right now.” Seriously he felt like the worst father in the world.

“Well, that’s why you have me.”

Eddie couldn’t help but feel that little spark of hope at Buck’s words. The smile that bloomed on his face was genuine. It carried him through to the next day.

~*~

The following day, after speaking with the principal and hashing things out, the other kid had finally admitted what he’d done (the little shit). Both kids were still suspended, Jessie for three days and the other kid for two weeks (Jess wasn’t the only kid he’d been bullying). The only problem was there was no one to watch her and he didn’t think leaving her to be on her own would be a good idea. So he took her into work with him. Bless the 118 for helping out in all the ways they could. When the biggest call of the shift came in, Eddie felt a little uneasy about leaving her behind, but Theo Stover, another teammate, who had been with them for a few months now, was around to watch her and keep her company. 

The feeling of contentment Eddie was experiencing did not last long. It all came crashing down when they got back to the station. Chim and Hen hopped off the truck and left to get cleaned up. Theo’s worried face was the first thing Eddie saw as he shut the truck door. Theo’s hands were held up in front of him while looking directly at Eddie.

“What- ” Eddie got cut off before he could even finish asking what happened. 

“I didn’t know who she was when she showed up and demanded to talk to Jessie,” Theo’s voice was filled with concern. 

God damn it, Shannon.

“I tried to stop her but your kid said it was okay, they seemed cool when they went upstairs.”

Eddie scrubbed a hand through his sweaty head. “Where are they?”

Theo pointed back towards the gym, a little resigned. “Jessie is back there, I gave her some gloves and she’s been at the bag for about half an hour. The woman stormed out just before that.”

Eddie hung his head in defeat, “Thanks, man.” he started walking away while he muttered to himself. “The whole point of leaving her here was…”. 

“Eddie- ”

“Yeah?” He looked back at Theo who glanced back at the gym, concern in his eyes. 

“She’s good now, but I had to talk her through a panic attack.”

~*~

Jessie had the smallest sized boxing gloves on her hands, and she was going at one of the punching dummies hard. Her hair, which had been gathered into a neat french braid this morning, was already coming loose. Her face was flushed and he could see that she’d been crying at some point. Eddie was really beginning to question his choice to let Shannon back into their lives - so far, all she had brought was chaos.

“J.”

Eddie was pretty sure she was lost in the haze of beating the crap out of the dummy. He stepped up to the side and put a hand out to hold it still. He watched as his kid let out a cry and gave a strong kick, which made him stumble a bit. The beating stopped and she stood there breathing heavily. “I don't… wanna… talk about it.” Jessie said.

That was fair. She probably had enough of talking for one day. He reached out and placed a hand on the back of her neck, pulling her into his arms. Jessie was like a puppet whose strings have been cut; she just fell into him.

“I tried, Papi I did, I really tried,” her voice broke, his heart along with it. 

“I know, mija.” He sighed, because what else could he say. He glanced up and caught Buck watching them from the back of the truck. Eddie shook his head knowing there was nothing they could do for the moment.

~*~

Eddie took the next day off and asked Shannon over to the house to talk. He waited until both kids were away from home to have this conversation. Eddie almost let anger get the better of him but managed to reign himself in. “You need to stop.” The words were out of his mouth before Shannon even opened hers to defend herself. Eddie knew if he let her control this, they would be arguing and he’d have to walk away from her without anything being resolved. “This whole dropping by without running it by me first is done. If you can’t even reach for the phone to tell me about any incidents when you pick them up from school, then it’s done. No more.”

Shannon's eyes widened and her body stiffened up. “They’re _my_ kids too.”

“Then start acting like it,” he snapped back harshly; he was so tired of her being half-assed in her role of taking care of their kids. 

“What the hell do you think I’m trying to do,” she threw her hands up in the air, “I’m trying to reconnect with my kids, I thought that’s what this whole thing was about but apparently I can’t even do that right.”

“Shannon.”

“No,” Shannon stood up straight like she had some sort of high ground here. “You need to step back and let me do this, I’ve tried following your lead but at some point, you need to trust me.”

Eddie was pretty sure the rage inside of him was growing every time she insisted on something that he knew without question wasn’t going to work. “Trust you? _You_ walked into the firehouse making demands you had no right to,” his voice dangerously low as he clenched his hands into fists, “You upset both Christopher and Jessie last week by telling them something that wasn’t even set in stone.”

“I just wanted to reason with her, that was all, and last week, I knew that was a mistake,” Shannon explained, faltering ever so slightly.

“A mistake?” An ugly laugh escaped his mouth. “Spilling milk is a mistake, Shan. Telling her that they were gonna spend Christmas with you, as a family? That was deciding without talking to me first.”

“I think the real problem here is that you ** _don’t_ **want me here, that’s where she’s getting it Eddie, and it’s leaking into our son. That’s the problem! You haven’t forgiven me, so neither will she.”

“I forgave you a long time ago Shannon.” It killed him to say so, but it was true. He never faulted her for leaving, and if it had just been him he wouldn’t have cared. “I just don’t know if I can trust you. Not when you keep pulling this stuff.”

“I used to be so good at this, knowing what they needed.” Shannon wasn’t with him anymore. He could see it in the way she was standing, how her gaze wasn’t meeting his as she mumbled to herself. “I could calm Jessie down just by holding her hand, and talking her through it, and now… she’s just so _angry_ , and Christopher, he can see it and he won’t even- ”

It made something sit heavy in his chest, the way she was just starting to realize what he’d been trying to tell her for the longest time.

“This isn’t working.”

For a split second, he thought she was going to break their hearts again. That she was leaving again. It felt like he was suspended in mid-air. She rubbed her eyes, voice almost too low to hear. “I… um, I filed the divorce papers, Eddie.” The way she said it, felt like it hurt her more than it did him. “I want…”

When he looked back at this moment, he thought what he should have been was relieved. Instead, it felt like she’d dropped a stone in his stomach. It was not like they had been trying to be husband and wife again. Most of their time had been spent coordinating her time with the kids or arguing about one thing or another... Still, it felt like a strong blow to his gut.

All he could do was nod, “Okay.”

~*~

That night, Abuela Isa took the kids and Eddie sat alone in the living room, lights dimmed. Two empty bottles stood in front of him on the coffee table. He didn’t hear the front door open, but he felt Buck’s presence when he shifted around the sofa. It was a few minutes before he took the seat next to him, his entire side pressed against Eddie’s. He felt like he was holding onto all this pressure inside of him but when Buck placed an arm around his shoulders, all he could do was sigh in relief and suddenly all that pressure was gone as he relaxed into Buck’s warm body. Eddie let go of everything he had been feeling, while Buck held him. 

~*~

The weeks turned into months and at some point, things started to relax, he could see that his kids were happier. They were finally moving forward but it wasn’t easy - nothing worth fighting forever was. Jessie seemed less angry these days but she was trying so hard for her brother, knowing how much Shannon meant to Christopher. Eddie knew he was going to have to sit down and have a long talk with her about it, but for now, he was content not to rock that specific boat. For a while, it seemed like they were slowly, but surely, getting there. So, of course, life decided to shake things up and split the ground beneath their feet - in the worst possible way.

It started at work with a call, a car accident. The woman in the driver's seat that he and Buck were tending to started babbling about hitting another woman and a kid. Buck was looking around for no more than a few seconds before the color in his face drained away; the fear in his face made Eddie get up and move towards the injured woman who laid a few feet away.

“Eddie, Eddie wait!” Buck tried to hold him back but it was too late, he saw her, and just like that his world shattered. 

_Shannon_.

  
  



	2. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my beta's (Taxing Ninja) and (ToughpaperRound). My cheer reader and supporters Sara and Jen, the awesome people on the discord. 
> 
> TW: Because the tags seem to disappear here are some warnings: Angst/Hurt Comfort is heavy here but it does have a happy ending. There are references to the following: Abandonment, Ableism, Bullying, Canon Character Death, Found Family, HOH Child, Panic Attacks.

* * *

There was a harsh buzzing sound in Eddie’s ears as he watched Shannon being placed on a gurney. He couldn’t quite put together what had happened, how severe it all was. Not until he remembered the words of their patient in the car. With every breath he took, Eddie’s heart felt like it tried to burst out of his chest. Hen was suddenly by his side, tugging gently on his shoulder, then opened his hand and placed something small in it. Her voice sounded so horrified. “Eddie… I'm sorry.”

It took a split second for recognition to kick in. The small purple device was cracked… Jessie’s BTE Aid. “What the hell?” He spun around in a flash, looked around to see if he could find any sign of _her_. His mind went back to what Jessie wore that morning, a red shirt with a lightning bolt on it, yellow shorts. Eddie didn’t see any child out here dressed like that, and there were no other teams on site as far as he could see. 

Eddie spun one more time, following Hen and Chim as they loaded Shannon into the ambulance. Words died on his lips as Chimney told him he doesn’t have much time with her. 

Shannon mumbled between breaths, disorientated. “I just wanted a day with her…”

Eddie’s heart was pounding so hard, it was almost all he could hear. They'd both been out there. Shannon and their little girl.

“We--- we were having fun…it was like before…she, she smiled at me… I don't… I pushed her out of… the way. I know I did.” Shannon’s breathing was so shallow, he could barely hear her.

Eddie couldn't bring himself to ask, but he knew he had to. “What h- ” he swallowed down around the sudden rock in his throat. Jessie was supposed to be safe in school.

“Eddie,” he looked back at Chimney and Buck, their faces filled with sorrow. “They took Jessie to County.” All he could do was nod, he didn't have much time left here. 

  
  


Shannon died on the way, still apologizing for going and asking him to let the kids know she loved them.

~*~

At the hospital, it was Bobby and Chimney who guided him through the hallway after they called the time of death. He felt so numb to it all, he couldn't pinpoint anyones feelings, let alone his own. Even when he gathered Shannon’s things the loud buzz from before was still in his head.

It was Buck who found Jessie for him. His best friend had gotten to the hospital way before any of them. It was Hen who walked him down to the room Jessie was being treated in. Eddie’s stomach clenched tight, his heart stuttered at the scene through the open door. Relief hit him instantly like an ocean wave crashing onshore. It was quickly followed by another dizzying wave of guilt. His baby girl, who reveled in being taller than her brother, seemed so small sitting on the hospital bed. Buck was sitting in front of her, a strong warm presence in the room, signing to her.

Hen told him that when Shannon pushed Jessie out of the way, it had saved her life. She had hit the pavement pretty hard and rolled a few times which explained the broken arm, scrape on her forehead and knees, and some minor bruising on her ribs. The black and blue stood out on her pale face. It had also knocked out her hearing aid. Jessie had been frantically asking for her mother in the ambulance. Eddie looked back at Hen, and she shook her head. Fuck. It hit him then and there. 

_“_ She doesn’t know _.”_

~*~

_“You’re lying,”_ Jessie signed, the words coming out slow and stilted because of the cast on her right arm, her voice harsh just the same.

“Jess... Mija,” Eddie felt something inside of him crack, he couldn't imagine what she's feeling right now.

_“You’re lying.”_ It was the way her face slowly melted from shock to flushed anger as Jessie screamed at him demanding to know where Shannon really was that broke him.

“Y-YOU'RE LYING!” her fist caught him right in the chest, “MENTIROSO!” Eddie didn't stop her from letting it all out, but he had to grab her uninjured hand and he kept her from falling off the hospital bed. He held her as she struggled to catch her breath. He looked up, his vision blurred with tears. He could see how Buck and Hen had to stop the doctors from coming in.

“Y- YOUR L- LYING.”

The hardest part was letting her scream and kick at him until she fell apart in his arms.

  
  


~*~

Eddie had a vague recollection of what happened after that. He knew that Buck drove him to Abuela Isa’s house. He remembered standing on the sidewalk, watching as Christopher happily played in the front yard. He had just wanted to protect his little boy from this but after one look at his Abuela’s face, he knew he couldn’t do that.

Eddie felt like there was another piece of him cracking again, he didn’t want to break this moment of happiness to tell his other baby that his mom was gone, and was never coming back. 

He knelt in front of Christopher, and his pain must have shown on his face because his smile disappeared. Eddie hates it. When the words came out of him they were rough and he wished he could take them back. 

He didn’t think they could come back from this. 

~*~

The funeral and burial had been hard, Christopher not quite understanding, and Jessie understanding all too well. Eddie was getting really tired of people telling him, how sorry they were about Shannon’s passing - whilst still talking ill about her when they thought he wasn't paying attention. 

Across the backyard, his kids were at a table surrounded by their cousins. Christopher was sitting on his sister’s lap, something he hadn’t done since he started being more independent. Eddie felt a deep ache in his gut. Neither of them wanted to be here but family was family, even when they were being a pain in the ass. 

Eddie thought back to the moment of panic he had that morning before the funeral. When Jessie had come into the room, hair a mess and half-dressed, her hands moving way too fast and at an awkward angle... trying to sign rapidly at him. The translation was going slow in his head, because he hadn’t had to sign this fast since… since she was eight. When Shannon left them the first time. Shannon, who back then had encouraged her to speak while learning PSE herself, so that she could communicate with the baby girl her boyfriend loved with all his heart.

_“I don’t want- ”_

It’s the first thing that translates in his head. It hit him a few seconds later, he signed back while speaking to her. Hoping it would encourage her to speak back to him. No dice. Jessie was frantic about not wanting to go to the funeral or burial. Buck walked in when Eddie was practically close to tears, and gently guided him out of his room before turning to Jessie. An hour before they had to leave, Buck had both kids ready, though still reluctant to go.

Now, here at Abuela’s house, they were surrounded by family and he was ready to go out of his freaking mind. Especially when his dad started going on about Shannon leaving them; about how maybe it would be a good idea to move back to El Paso with them… 

That realization hit him harder than anything else, it filled him with such heated anger. Eddie absolutely refused to uproot his kids, especially not after something like this. Not when he’s so close to earning his Shield and gaining solid ground here for them. They have family here, not just his Tia Pepa, Tio Joe, and Abuela Isa, but the 118 and most of all, Buck. They have all been with them every step of their journey and he would be damned if he’d let his family bully him into dropping it all.

Eddie glanced over at his two kids, eyes narrowed down as Jessie frowned at her cousin, as whatever was said was making her hug her brother tightly. After a minute, the two got up from the table and walked toward the only empty space in the backyard, by an old swing. Eddie was about to go after them but Buck seemed to come out of nowhere. A concerned smile on his face as he knelt before them, hands moving swiftly, signing to them. 

~*~

Work was a much-needed distraction, getting back into a routine was tough but necessary. Eddie just wished the universe would stop crapping on them…

_Buck… God, why did it have to be him?_

**Eddie** hadn’t left the family waiting room since the doctors wheeled Buck away from them, hours ago. Maddie had kept everyone up to date on Buck’s progress all night. There'd been a slight complication that caused the surgery to take a little longer than they'd thought. His phone was buzzing again, he picked it up without thinking and his Tia Pepa was in his ear, yelling.

“Wait.. slow down… she what…” Eddie frowned, he can barely make out what it was that she'd said so far. Maddie just moved to sit in a chair by his side, curiosity written all over her face.

“Is she ok? Did Christopher see… thank god… what.. no… Tia _no_ , I don’t want her t- ” He’d been hung up on, unbelievable. Eddie scrubbed a hand through his hair.

“Everything ok?”

He turned to Maddie who was holding out a cup of coffee. It’s not the hospital kind. “Jess saw the news.”

“Oh my god,” Maddie had told him how hard it was to watch from the call center, to see her brother practically crushed under the fire truck. He can’t even imagine what his kid was feeling.

“Jess hasn’t been sleeping, so we let her watch movies… that’s what she was doing when the news cut in, Maddie, she saw the whole thing.”

And then proceeded to have a panic attack. This had been happening a lot more lately, especially after the funeral. The doctor had warned him about trauma signs in both kids. He’d been seeing it more often, and now this. “Jess insisted on coming down here.”

“Eddie.”

He cut her off before she could form any kind of protest. “I know he’s still in surgery but- ”

“It’s fine.”

Eddie didn’t know how it could be. They had just buried Shannon a few days ago and now… a hand on his arm has him looking back up into Maddie's understanding eyes. “Evan is gonna pull through this, he’s a fighter, you know that.”

Eddie nodded his head and tried to keep the tears at bay. He couldn’t lose Buck now. He thought about how much their lives tangled together. Buck had made their family whole and happy, even through all the rough patches, he’d been there no matter what. They couldn’t lose him, he doesn't think they could survive that.

Maddie gestured behind him. His sister Cienna walked toward them with a not-so-understanding look in her dark eyes. Jessie half ran, half limped toward him. Eddie caught her around her waist and pulled her up into his arms, mindful of the bruising on her ribs. He felt her entire body trembling.

“What happened?” Eddie didn’t bother to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice.

“She threw a fit is what happened, then started- ” Cienna started to explain.

Eddie turned away from his sister, and towards Maddie. She leaned forward taking Jessie from him with a few kind whispered words. Jessie nodded and accepted the transfer. He waited until they were both half way down the hall and then whirled around on his sister. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?!”

“Eddie, we all feel for what happened, we really do, but that does not excuse her lashing out.”

He wanted to lash out right then. Eddie could picture what happened with such clarity that it made his blood boil. This was the reason he wanted to get away from his ‘well-meaning’ family. “She just lost her mother, and she might lose Buck as well, so she’s not exactly gonna behave the way you want her to.”

“Shannon- ”

“Was the _only_ mother she knew.” Eddie wasn’t about to let her forget that, despite all the crap his family still said behind his back. He was tired and felt all the anger drained out of him. Eddie needed to be there for his kid right then. “Cienna, just go.”

“I’m sorry,” Cienna reached out for him but he shook his head, moving back towards the direction Maddie had taken Jessie.

“Go home, Ci.”

~*~

Eddie found them on a different floor of the hospital, outside a room with a glass window. Jessie was shaking her head but Maddie was holding her and spoke into her left ear. Whatever it was she was saying made Jessie calmer. Must be the Buckley effect. When he got a good look at their view, he froze in shock.

_Buck..._

He knew logically that he’d been injured, but to see him like this. Seeing was completely different. No, he couldn’t do that. Eddie pushed all the hurt and everything else, all down, into that box and put a lid on it for now. He took a deep breath before he walked over toward Maddie and Jessie.

Maddie had a smile on her face and tears in her eyes, but she explained what the doctors had done, and how Buck needed to sleep a lot so his body could heal. Jessie wasn’t saying anything, then again she hadn’t spoken since she broke down that day in the hospital when they lost Shannon.

Eddie stood by their side. It was going to be a long-ass night.

~*~

He woke up to a hand gently squeezing his shoulder. He'd fallen asleep in Buck’s room sometime around midnight, Jessie curled up on his lap, covered in his jacket. Eddie tried to shake the sleep off, took in the scent of the hospital room and… “Coffee.” He whispered, trying to sit up while trying not to jostle his kid. Several hands helped him sit up, and when he looked, it’s to see Chimney and Bobby. He was so grateful for them. Hen leaned forward, hands out in front of her to take Jessie from him. Eddie shook his head. He didn't want to move her when she was finally sleeping. He didn’t realize his legs had fallen asleep either. His baby girl had gotten so big in the past couple of months, Eddie remembered when she was small enough to hold in one arm, whilst juggling her stuff in the other.

“You sure?” Hen asked, bringing in another chair to his right.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He took the cup of coffee from Hen, nodding his thanks. He took that first sip and let the warmth sink in. Bobby was looking over a still-sleeping Buck, and Chim was setting down a coffee tray on a table just off to the side of the room door. He looked to Hen who was going over Buck’s chart, probably not for the first time. Someone was missing though, he noticed as he took another glance around the room.

“Carla came in earlier and finally convinced Maddie to go home and take a shower and rest.” Hen said this as she put the chart back down in its proper place.

“So, how long do you think it’ll be till she’s back here?” Eddie didn’t know if he could bring himself to leave, though he knew he would have to at some point. Abuela Isa could only keep Christopher for so long, and Jessie was going to need a home-made meal and a real bed.

Chimney snorted, practically choking on his coffee. “I’ll give it half an hour.”

“Your sister brought that,” Hen nodded towards a duffel bag on the floor near the door. Eddie supposed she got an earful from someone for that to happen. Something must show on his face because Bobby was questioning if everything was okay at home. Eddie was tempted to lie but in the end, he relented. An edited version of what happened at the family gathering days ago came out of his mouth - basically his parents thinking he should move back home. 

Looking around the room he took in various looks of surprise and indignation on his behalf. Chim started, scratching the top of his head, “No offense to your family Eddie but uh..”

“That's a load of crap,” Hen cut in with her no-nonsense tone.

“Hen,” Bobby’s voice was low but the warning it carried was strong. 

“What, Cap? It's the truth, and if they can't see that then to hell with them.” She rolled her shoulders and took another sip of coffee.

That got a smile out of Eddie, the coffee wasn't the only thing that was making him feel warm inside. 

“I think what Hen and Chimney are trying to say is- ” Bobby tried once again only to be cut off, again. 

Chim took a seat on the edge of Buck's bed, being careful not to disturb him. “Trying? I think we stated outright- ”

“That you’re not alone here. You have us.”

This, this right here was why he fought so hard to stay, and would continue to do so.

  
  


~*~

When Buck woke up, Eddie had just placed Jessie down on the cot that was brought into the room. Cap and the others had stepped out for various breaks, they’d all been in and out of the room for most of the day.

At one point Abuela Isa stopped by with Christopher, who was a little cranky, what with being away from both his big sister and his Dad. So Eddie said it wasn't a big deal for him to spend the day. Abuela insisted on staying as well, and sneaky as ever, she brought food from home, which everyone fully appreciated. Chim even said he was going to steal her away from him, and that gave everybody a good laugh. 

It was a small sound from Buck’s hospital bed which had Eddie spinning in place as if he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing.

Buck.

He was stirring slowly on the bed. Eddie had been waiting for two days to see those ocean blue eyes staring back at him, and when it was finally happening he couldn’t figure out what to do first. Eddie slowly approached the bed and leaned slightly over Buck so that he’s in his line of sight. It took a good minute before recognition kicked in, and Buck’s eyes seemed to clear. Eddie took his right hand into his, rubbing warmth back into it. “Hey, Buck.”

“Ed… Eddie?” Buck mumbled weakly.

Eddie was so happy that Buck was finally awake, all he could do was smile and nod.

“Wh-what happened?”

Eddie didn’t even know how to explain it all. “You got hurt… real bad Buck, you had us worried.”

“I- ” Buck's confusion turned to slight horror as he looked behind Eddie, towards his slightly suspended leg. Eddie took the hand that’s cradled between his own, bringing it up, placing it over his beating heart, pressing down gently. “Buck, hey, focus on me,” urging for Buck’s eyes to focus back on him. “Feel that.”

Buck nodded, his eyes no longer wide with fear. “Good, focus on that.” It was a good few minutes before Buck was calm enough to let Eddie explain. How they’d gotten the call from Cap warning them about the bomb placements, but it had been just mere seconds later when the truck he was in had exploded. What Maddie and the doctors have said within the last twenty-four hours. How they had placed a rod in his leg, and the titanium screws. It was a lot to process, so Eddie waited, his heart beating at a rapid pace in his chest, as he sat on the edge of the bed. He hadn’t realized he still had Buck’s hand pressed against his chest until Buck turned his trapped hand, and curled his fingers around Eddie’s.

“How long will I- ?” Buck glanced over towards the second bed, and did a double-take, eyes narrowing down at his sleeping kid. “How long has she been here?”

Eddie tried to hold back the inappropriate laughter in his chest - Buck almost sounded like he was back to his worried self. “Cienna brought her in late last night and she refused to go home, till her Buck was awake.”

“Eddie, she should be home in a real bed.” Buck was attempting to sit up. 

“Take it easy,” Eddie whispered as he reached out with his free hand cupping the side of his shoulder, gently pushing him back onto the pillow.

“Is Christopher here too…”

Buck wasn’t going to relax till he got answers. “Abuela brought him by earlier, but they stepped out for a minute. Maddie and the others have been in and out of here for the last two days.”

Buck took another look around the room, finally noticing the various jackets, trays, and bags that adorned the room, a small smile blooming on his face. “They were here?”

“Yeah.”

Buck glanced back at Eddie, reached up and grasped his arm. His eyes were more clear and he seemed so much better. Scratches still marred his face but those would heal with time, as would the rest of him. “There’s no place we’d rather be.” Eddie didn’t realize how much he meant it till just now. Every part of him was screaming that this was where he belonged. By Buck’s side. “Do me a favor, don’t ever scare me like that again?”

“Man, you know me.” It felt like Buck was just going to make a joke but he couldn’t let this go. Not after everything they’ve been through in the past few days.

“Evan- ”

Eddie could feel that pressure building inside of him, that ache he’s managed to push down, it felt like the box was going to blow its lid. He shook his head a bit, trying to push it back down, but he had gained Buck’s attention. “When that bomb went off- ” the catch in his voice made him stop, so he tried again, meeting Buck’s eyes. “I don’t think- ” He couldn’t seem to get the words out right.

Buck moved his hand from Eddie’s wrist to tug on his arms, bringing him forward till he can feel warm skin. Eddie didn’t even realize he had closed his eyes. Buck’s hand cupped the back of his neck, giving a gentle squeeze before he released him. He felt Buck’s warm fingers moving gently through his hair. “Eddie, I’m right here, I ain’t going nowhere.” He felt, more than heard, the soft, raspy words against his wet cheeks. 

“Ok.”

Just like that all the pressure he felt inside, settled into something warm. Eddie could feel Buck smiling, so he opened his eyes because he’d be damned if he ever misses an opportunity to stare at that smile and those piercing blue eyes again. They were mere inches away from one another, and even if he got hopelessly lost in those ocean blue eyes, he would never be afraid of doing so again. Eddie didn’t even hesitate to close the gap between them, heart beating wildly in his chest as the sensation of Buck’s chapped lips pressed against his. It was just a few seconds before he pulled back, Buck’s hand still on him, eyes widened in surprise before melting into a warmth that shoots right through him, down to his belly. He couldn’t help but smile as Buck cradled his face, tugged him into another kiss.

It was the shifting sound of a jacket sliding to the floor that got their attention. Eddie knew that they weren’t alone in the room - he did, he just… it was just that for a few blissful seconds he was lost in Buck. The two of them slowly pulled apart and looked to the side, where Jess was waking up.

“We’re so… talking about this later,” Buck whispered against his cheek, pressing another kiss to his lips before relaxing back into the pillows behind him.

Eddie didn’t know if he could wipe the smile off his face, and he didn’t really know if he wanted to. He shook his head as he slid off the bed, and reached out for his kid. Bringing his hand up and gently supporting her cast-covered arm, he helped sit her up with his free hand. “Guess who decided to wake up.” He almost laughed at how fast she snapped to the left, brown eyes clearing up and widening at the sight of Buck reclined on the bed, and wide awake.

Eddie had to stop her from jumping off the bed and helped her across the room before sitting her down on Buck’s bed. He was really careful not to jostle Buck's side. He pressed a quick kiss to her temple and sat back. Despite the IV drip and bandages, Buck started moving his hands and signed in a well-practiced manner, “Hey, there Jessie Quick!”

Eddie watched as two out of his three favorite people interacted - with less awkward signing from Jessie followed by tired but happy replies from Buck.

-*-

The others started to slowly trickle back in. Jessie was asleep again but this time on Buck’s less injured side. The doctor managed to work around her, speaking to them quietly before leaving to do her rounds on the rest of the floor.

Maddie teared up at the sight of her brother talking to a very happy Christopher. Chimney had to pull her away before she could crush him with a hug. Buck had already been trying to hide his discomfort each time he shifted in place. Hen walked in followed by Bobby, Athena, and a gentle hug-fest ensued. Abuela Isa was fussing about Buck's side, sending a knowing glance Eddie’s way, as she took notice of how he never lifted his arms away from Eddie’s kids, not once.

This. This right here was his family, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Canon Death is Shannon Diaz. I debated a long time on how this was gonna end for everyone. To be honest I didn't really see it ending any other way as this was already considered finished for the longest time. I have on the back burner an alternate ending because I wanted to explore both sides. So for now I consider this story finished but not this universe. Thank for reading :)


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